


Watashi no kokoro

by BlueRam



Category: Naruto
Genre: Drabbles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Painful Love, Romance, Yearning, almost star crossed lovers, at least when it comes on to Naruto, but deep love, hurting Naruto, open to his emotions Sasuke, passionate Naruto, two hearts separated for a moment, written as a gift
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-09 22:40:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10423401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueRam/pseuds/BlueRam
Summary: They say that…we humans, we have the capacity to only ever remember the bad memories. Like a film that plays over and over. A wheel that never stops spinning.





	1. Part 1

**_Sasuke’s POV_ **

* * *

They say that…we humans, we have the capacity to only ever remember the bad memories. Like a film that plays over and over. A wheel that never stops spinning.

 If it is the truth, then why can’t I erase your memories from my mind. 

Your wide smile, bright sunshine…that slight wrinkle around the edges. How blue eyes, bluer than a thousand seas, a thousand skies, light up like the supernova of the unknown night. The restless night. How you would look at me, hair spun gold, blinding. A tilt of your head because for a split second you did not understand me. How your spirit crumbled, how you felt betrayed, but by whom? Betrayed, you felt betrayed by your own spirit for not understanding. Why punish yourself on my behalf? 

You are not like her, you are not like them. You don’t pretend, you could never pretend, and when you wrap your arms around my shoulders, when I stiffen in your hold and you wouldn’t dare let go…in you, I knew I could believe. On that night, when I whispered secrets against your lips… when I dared to touch what was forbidden, taint such purity. When I felt the ice shift and your ever consuming fire set my soul ablaze. On that night when tears spilt down my cheeks, strange emotions as I caressed your skin and watched you sleep. 

When I knew… when I knew I loved you…Naruto. So why…why can’t I forget? You are a memory ever so precious, ever so sweet…even when I left you bleeding, heard you weep. Even when I turned my back and listened as my heart broke, for my destiny would never rest in Konoha’s embrace. Why can’t I forget? I need to forget, I want to forget!

Because if I don’t!

If I don’t! 

You are the air that I breathe, the song my heart beats to…the balm to my soul and the light of my existence!

If I don’t! If I don’t!

Then I would come running back to you! You would share my pain tenfold even if I never wanted you to.

 I would crush you, extinguish your light!

Naruto, with me,…you would break.

Naruto, with me,…you would shatter, a million pieces over. A precious crystal forever tainted by my disgrace.

Ah, I see…so that is why I still remember. That is why…even thousand miles away I can feel your soft skin against mine, the warmth of your smile…a gentle touch.

Sweet torture for yearning, for wanting what must always be free. A faith much worst than a bad memory. 

Naruto, my love… 

I can’t forget, I won’t forget.  

I won’t until you set me free. 


	2. Part 2

**Naruto’s POV**

* * *

Set you free.

You wish for me to set you free, to watch you turn your back without a second glance and just let it be. I watched you rise, I watched you grow, always one step ahead of me. You seemed so untouchable, seemed so strong…seemed so alone. I wanted your eyes upon me, wanted to be acknowledged. To see the upward tilt of thin lips. that low glint in dark eyes that not many would ever believe to exist!

Set you free…

I _should_ set you free…

You would not grow here, the haunting light of your soul, the glow of a moon that cast its brilliance upon a bittersweet night, a wandering soul. You do not belong here, even if…even if it had been your home. You’ve seen too much, you’ve bled too much. Konoha…she, my beautiful mistress. My pain and sorrow and the source of all my hurt, all my joy…she has taken too much from you.

It hurts! God, it hurts! the ever consuming pain that blankets your life like a terrible safety net. The shackles upon your soul that tethers you to earth and refuses to let you soar, let you fly free. How you crumble, pretend you’re strong…your dark eyes that now… never looks away from mine. Dark consuming abyss. the whisper of shadows and fury. The whispers of strength and denial…of carefully hidden weakness, that in its own right was your strength. The whispers of love, dangerous love, obsessive love…pure love.

I watched you fall.

Sasuke…I…

It’s always raining. The sky will bleed to grey and the clouds lazily begin their journey to the unknown. There is alway the ominous rumble of thunder, lightning flashing in the distance and the scared thrill of birds that no sooner take flight. The storm is here, the storm will stay and perhaps, tear my soul asunder. Konoha is bleak, she mourns or, perhaps…it is I who mourns. The one who has lost his anchor and watches the world pass him by with distant blue eyes.

She asked me to marry her you know, she…I can not. It would be cruel, it is cruel. I have no heart to give, no kind word to spare. You have taken it all. Sasuke! You, it is you who I-

It always rains, because you are not here. Because you refuse to be.

Do you think me so weak?

Truly? that I would shatter from your touch, your being. That I would crumble to dust under the weight that is your soul, that is your making. I chased you to the ends of the earth! I bore the pain and hurt when you thrust your arm through my heart.

I cried for you! Wept, when every passing night I would understand the true meaning of alone. That you were no longer by my side, that you suffered… you suffered and I could not understand.

How could I not understand?!

Until I did.

They told me to give up on you, forget our sweet memories. abandon my love for it was false.

I love you, you know. I always did, I just never realised…until the night you truly stole my first kiss.

I should hate you.

I should! But I won’t! For just this one time I’ll be selfish! I’ll take what I want, I’ll let you see, let you feel!

I won’t set you free Sasuke! I won’t! I can’t!

Never ask this of me! it is too much…too raw.

I love you Sasuke, and even if it hurts, even if it kills me…I’ll always love you. There is no one else, you are my beginning and my end.

I am yours, as you are mine…two halves of a whole.

Why won’t you understand?!

Please! It hurts! It hurts…but I… Konoha is not your home, I would never wish that faith upon you. Even if I will forever remain in her cold embrace, slave to her will because it is so that I wish it. Even if I stay here if only to ensure that it is not you who she captures, bend to her will, like she has so many before you, before me.

Set you free, Sasuke?

Set you free my love?

Then I’ll ask only one thing…just one…

What is free?

What is freedom?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello @sasu-loves-naru , part two, Naruto’s pov as promised to you and anonymous.Hope you enjoy. Theme as per anonymous’ request is slightly frantic, don’t know if I pulled that off, but hope you like ^_^

**Author's Note:**

> Hello @sasu-loves-naru , so it seems that you have quite an enthusiastic fan! They asked me to write this little piece for you, though they want to remain anonymous. They chose a theme of yearning of sorts and asked me to do a pov of Sasuke in regards to Naruto and then a pov of Naruto if possible. Unfortunately, I’m really busy so I only got to Sasuke’s pov which I did…five minutes ago I think. So at a later date, I’ll get to Naruto’s pov. Hope you like ^_^ and anonymous…I’m sure sasu-loves-naru won’t bite, maybe you should let her know you a little bit, no pressure, though! ^_^  
> \----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


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